The Birth of Honey Boo Boo
Honey Boo Boo was born behind a KFC in a dumpster by Jabba the Hutt. As Jabba was giving birth and Honey Boo Boo was slithering out of the womb, there were chicken legs everywhere.
As Honey Boo Boo crawled out her last crawl out of the never ending cave you call Jabba's vagina, Honey saw the piece of chicken. As she grabbed it she took her first bite. She gave out her first words, which were "Mmmm, delicious."
Jabba looked at her, with a twinkle in his eyes wanting to eat Honey Boo Boo. But, as she was eating the piece of chicken, Jabba said to himself "This child represents me a lot... I will keep her and raise her as my own." And that is what Jabba did.
Early Life of Honey Boo Boo
Honey Boo Boo ate lots and lots of chicken tenders. Why, so much, that she turned into a chicken tender one time. Then while she was jiggling around the neighborhood she saw an advertisement for a beauty pageant. She awed "WOW... I WANT TO BE LIKE ONE OF THOSE SLUTS..." Jabba, who was facing some divorce issues at the time (HOLY SHIT! JABBA ACTUALLY GOT A LOVER! OH MY FUCK!) wanted the money for greed, and personal issues. So he signed up Honey Boo Boo for the pageant.
The first day when Honey Boo Boo got onto the stage, she bewildered the judges by her awesome twerking. They were so stunned that their heads exploded, like that one scene in Scanners. Then Honey Boo Boo stripped down and turned into a chicken nugget.
She won the pageant easily and got a mere 20 dollars out of it (like all the hookers get and Slenderman).
Honey Boo Boo is now well known for her jiggle rolls, which awes the ten year olds and obese housewives who find the show quite entertaining. Jabba the Hutt got married again, but the guy is in it on the money. Now, apparently, Jabba spat out a lot of babies, wanting them to turn out to be Honey Boo Boo. But they're not the same as Jabba's shining star.
She still does her pageants for those who are still entertained. Apparently, I don't really need Russell Crowe to ask the reader that question if they are entertained, because they seem so.
She also twerks on Wednesdays and appears to a TGIF asking for boys for chicken tenders on Fridays.
The Death of Honey Boo Boo
Honey Boo Boo died in a fire that Ryan started, and now she is an apprentice to the Devil himself.
Written by Fatal Disease